Thursday, June 24, 2004

You have been Leftinated

Ever wonder why many leftists online seem sort of... predictable? Ever wanted to be a leftist, yet not know how to generate leftist diatribes worthy of The Nation or Salon.com? Well, now you can see the secret behind it all - from the fine folks who brought you the Chomskybot, it's the Leftinator!

Some examples of randomly generated leftist cant:

Presumably, the deal between the Department of Defense and Halliburton unit Kellogg, Brown & Root is determined by capitalist interests which lead to the predatory imperialist aims outlined by the crypto-fascist Project for a New American Century. Clearly, the Pax Americana of the future leads our attention to the end of any possibility of social justice in a reactionary state. For one thing, the pro-Sharon neoconservative cabal represents the repudiation of international law in order to bring about a McCarthyism which threatens everything we hold dear. It is not heartening that the unstated purpose of this war can be seen in the light of the apparent fabrications which lead to the police state which has come to pass.

More? Here are two more:

Perhaps for the first time since the late 1940s, Donald Rumsfeld's worldview brings forth a humanitarian disaster of unimaginable scale. Clearly, the deal between the Department of Defense and Halliburton unit Kellogg, Brown & Root is determined by capitalist interests which lead to the predatory imperialist aims outlined by the crypto-fascist Project for a New American Century. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the American state, with its unelected president, venal Supreme Court, silent Congress, gutted Bill of Rights and compliant media represents the repudiation of international law in order to bring about the theocrat Ashcroft's suspension of our civil rights. This suggests that Bush’s argument for war can be seen in the light of the apparent fabrications which lead to the flagrant lies promulgated by the political donor class.

And yet again:

For one thing, Colin Powell's parade of lies brings about this calamity brought to us by a horrific onslaught, known as Shock and Awe. Nevertheless, the deal between the Department of Defense and Halliburton unit Kellogg, Brown & Root leads our attention to a humanitarian disaster of unimaginable scale. This suggests that the Pax Americana of the future represents the crushing of internal dissent in order to propagate the predatory imperialist aims outlined by the crypto-fascist Project for a New American Century. It appears that the unstated purpose of this war is determined by capitalist interests which lead to the essential Western imperial interests.

Sweet. Writing libertarian diatribes will get me nowhere, I fear, but this tool might just be my ticket into the elite intellectual class...

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